Sept. 30, 2001

"Forgiveness"

Sermon: Forgiveness:

“I know Jesus taught forgiveness, but sometimes it’s really hard.” Yes, it is. In fact, I believe that forgiveness is the hardest part of being a Christian. We can understand why it is so hard just by looking at the meaning of this word. Let's begin by looking at the word itself as it appears in the Bible.

In the Old Testament Hebrew, there are at least 4 different words for forgive:

nasa { naw-saw’}

AV - bare up, lift up, bear, take, carry, support, take or carry away, forgive, pardon

calach { saw-lakh’}

AV - forgive , pardon , spare

naqah { naw-kaw’}

AV - leave unpunished, make guiltless/innocent, clear, cleanse, set free,

kaphar { kaw-far’}

AV - atone, purge, reconcile, forgive

Perhaps the one verse that captures all of this is 2 Chronicles 7:14

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

That one verse seems to catch the meaning of all those words: to lift up, clear, cleanse, set free, purge, reconcile, atone, spare, carry. It's a beautiful idea, but it is almost always used in the Old Testament to refer to God's action. It is considered the most divine of all things.

In the New Testament Greek we find these similar words:

aphiemi {af-ee’-ay-mee}

AV - leave, forgive, suffer, forsake, send away, disregard, give up

apoluo {ap-ol-oo’-o}

AV - release, put away, send away, let go, set at liberty, let depart, dismiss

charizomai {khar-id’-zom-ahee} (root: charis- "grace")

AV - forgive, give, freely give, deliver, grant, frankly forgive

The meanings of these Greek words in the New Testament are very much the same as the previous words we found in the Old Testament. But the interesting thing about the New Testament usage is that it most often refers to us. As Christians we are called to forgive. We are called to take upon ourselves the most divine of all attributes of God Himself- forgiveness.

No wonder this is so hard for us to do. We aren't God. But we are called, in Christ, to become like our Father in heaven, and the first place we will see that likeness of our Father in us is when we are able to forgive.

Jesus said,

"I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew 5:44-48)

Forgiveness is God's standard of perfection. Remember the old bumper sticker, "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven." Well, that's actually a contradiction. Christians do become perfect as we accept God's forgiveness and grow in our ability to forgive. According to Jesus, forgiveness is perfection because it is the most divine of all virtues. As God's forgiveness works into your life, you are being perfected! That's the Good News. Hallelujah!

"I said the sinner's prayer, and I didn't feel any different than before. Do I have to feel forgiven before it is real?"

No. Receiving forgiveness is not a feeling, and offering forgiveness is not determined by our feelings. We don't do this because we feel like it. In fact, I doubt that anyone ever feels like forgiving. Forgiveness runs counter to our feelings. When we have been hurt, we feel like hurting someone back, don't we? If you're going to act on feeling, then you're going to spend your life looking for revenge. That's what your feelings want.

In teaching us to forgive, Jesus is telling us not to be governed by feelings, but to be governed by the perfect image of our Father guiding us to become like Him.

I've said it before in this series, and here we come to it again. Your mind must rule over your heart. Jesus is teaching us to think clearly so that we act correctly even when we feel like raising hell.

Likewise in receiving, we don't have to feel better to know we are forgiven. What we have to do is trust God's Word. His Word says that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It doesn't say that God is faithful and just to make us feel good. No, He is faithful and just to cleanse us and forgive us. After we have received God's forgiveness, it may take some time for our feelings to follow, but that does not lessen in any way the truth that we are forgiven.

Consider this. When a man has spent most of his life in jail, and is then released, he will at first find it very hard to feel free. Freedom will feel scary to him. He is out of prison. He walks freely along the street, yet in his mind, he is still a prisoner. He reacts like a prisoner. He will need some time to learn how to live as a free man, and in fact he is a free man even though he doesn't feel like it yet. It will take time for his feelings to catch up with his situation. He needs to be taught. He won't be able to feel the joy and splendor of freedom until he is taught how to live in the free world.

So it is with us. Many of us have spent a lifetime under a load of guilt and condemnation. We have lived apart from God in many sinful ways that became deeply ingrained in us. Then, when we heard the gracious invitation of Jesus to come to Him and be set free, we came and confessed, and accepted His gracious gift. But we might not have immediately felt different. We need to learn what His freedom and forgiveness is about. And the more we learn from His Word, the more we are able to feel the joy and peace of His forgiveness. Stay in the Word.

"What if the person who has hurt me doesn’t want or doesn't accept my forgiveness?"

No difference. As Christians, we don't forgive because the other person has asked for it. In fact, if you are waiting for the other person to ask for your forgiveness, you haven't understood anything about Jesus' way. Again I say, we forgive because it is how we become like our Father in heaven. And our obligation to forgive is always to God first, then to the other person. We forgive because it is commanded by God, not because it will make us feel better when the person who wronged us apologizes and asks us to forgive them. That may never happen, but you will still be called to forgive anyway.

And if the other person has not apologized or asked for forgiveness, then you have another obligation: pray for them. Jesus not only taught us to forgive our enemies, but also to pray for them. Tell me, how many people on your prayer list are there because they have not accepted your forgiveness? Don't look at those as failures. Those are the very signs of God's perfection at work in you. If you can pray for someone who hates you, has wronged you, used you, ripped you off- BEFORE they repent and apologize, then you are doing exactly what your Father in heaven does, exactly what Jesus did on the cross:

"Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing." Carry on!

“What if the person is dead? Is it too late to forgive? “

Not at all. Two things to remember here. First, remember that forgiveness is about your obedience to the Father, not the other person's ability to receive or respond. Their death does not change your responsibility to God. Forgive.

Second, remember that even though that person is dead to you, they are not dead to God. In the Communion of Saints our vision is expanded beyond this earthly life. The healing of the whole Body of Christ takes place not only on earth but between earth and heaven. This is not mediumism. You don't speak to the dead person, but you speak to God for them, and He will speak to them for you. You don't need a medium when you've got a Mediator- the only Mediator between us and God, Jesus Christ - not John Edward!

You do need to be sure that the forgiveness you are offering is your own. Don't try to forgive wrongs that were done by someone else to someone else. You can't do someone else's forgiving for them. Forgiveness, to be real, must cost you something.

"Forgive us our sins (debts) as we forgive those who have sinned against us (our debtors)." Forgiveness is always going to cost you something. Sometimes it will cost you material loss. To forgive the one who steals your money might mean saying goodbye to your loss. Most often it will cost you your rights: your right to be angry, your right to revenge, your right to feel sorry for yourself. But it will cost you something, if it's real. And if it doesn't cost you anything to say "I forgive..." then what you're doing may sound very nice and pious, but it isn't forgiveness.

“Aren't there different kinds of forgiveness? Isn't there a difference between being attacked

and being betrayed?”

Yes! Absolutely. Recently there was an example of this in the news. It seems that some 400 couples in Houtston, Texas who had filed for divorce cancelled their divorce petitions following the attack on our country on Sept. 11. The reason they gave for this mass reconciliation was that in the face of all that has happened to us lately, these couples realized their problems weren't as serious as they once seemed!

I find it often true, that forgiving an enemy who has attacked you is not as hard as forgiving a friend, a relative, or a spouse who has let you down. Isn't it true? Forgiveness is most costly when it is closest to home.

Isn't it interesting that one of the results of our nation being attacked by strangers was that 400 couples who had let each other down decided to give it another try! If we as a nation can get past an attack that killed over 6000 people and come together, and go on with life, maybe two people who have betrayed each other's trust can get back together and go on with life.

Every Good Friday, when we act out the "Stations of the Cross", the first song that is sung for the first scene, the scene of Jesus being condemned by Pilate, is the song, "Why" by Michael Card. The first verse goes like this:

"Why did it have to be a friend

who chose to betray the Lord?

And why did he use a kiss to tell them,

that's not what a kiss is for.

Only a friend can betray a friend,

a stranger has nothing to gain.

And only a friend comes close enough

to ever cause so much pain."

How true! Only a friend can betray a friend. An enemy can attack, but it takes a friend to betray. And I don't know about you, but I find that for me, forgiving an enemy who has attacked me from outside is a bit easier than forgiving a friend who has betrayed me from within.

"Does forgiveness mean that we never hold anyone accountable for their actions?”

Absolutely not. Forgiveness does not mean irresponsibility. When you accepted Jesus’ forgiveness at the cross, you also became accountable to Him for your life. And I would say this to you: if you have not made yourself accountable to Him, you have not truly received His forgiveness. They go together.

As we saw in the word study, forgiveness means that we relenquish our right to anger, revenge and hurt, and that we seek the best for the other person. And what is the best thing for a person who has sinned? It is to turn from their sin. Holding a person accountable for his actions, after we have forgiven him, may be the best way to turn him from sin and back to God.

When the widow of a policeman in Northern Ireland who was killed by the IRA forgave her husband’s murderer, she didn’t ask that he be released from prison. She knew that he had an obligation to society to serve his term. But her expression of forgiveness for the ultimate crime helped him use his time in prison to become a better person. Forgiveness and accountability often go hand in hand. To forgive, by the biblical defintion, is to ease the burden that another person is carrying. It is not to make them irresponsible.

To forgive a month’s rent to an airline employee who was just laid-off is an act of godly grace. To forgive a month’s rent to a man who has wasted his money on drugs is just plain stupid!

Irresponsibility is walking away from the person who wrongs you saying, “Oh just forget it!” Forgiveness with accountability is walking toward the person saying, “Let’s work this out together.” Examine your motives. Are you walking away, or walking toward?

Forgiveness can coincide with justice and accountability.

It cannot coincide with revenge or negligence.

"Is it OK to admit to God that I’m not ready to forgive... yet?"

Yes, and the degree of difficulty may depend on whether you are dealing with an attack or a betrayal.

I believe it is OK to admit to God that we are struggling with forgiveness. It has to be alright to admit it because God already knows it anyway. We worship the God "to whom all hearts are open", and there is no growth in trying to pretend we are something we aren't, or pretend we have done something we haven't. If you can't forgive yet, then tell God so in just those words. Say, "Lord, I cannot forgive this hurt yet. I know I must, but I am not able to do it. I need your strength in me so I can forgive as I should." Then spend some time meditating on Jesus on the Cross. Linger at the cross for as long as you need. I promise you, the strength to forgive will come. You will be able to forgive, not only the enemies who have attacked you, but even the friends who have betrayed you.

In the days after the attack on America many news reporters pulled out of their old files a copy of an editorial written several decades ago by a Canadian TV Commentator, Gordon Sinclair. It has a lot to do with forgiveness. May I read it to you? (edited)

"This Canadian thinks it's time to speak up for the Americans as the most generous and possibly the least understood people in all the earth. Germany, Japan, and to a lesser extent, Britain and Italy were lifted out of the debris of war by the Americans who poured in billions of dollars and forgave other billions in debts.

"None of these countries is today paying even the interest on its remaining debts to the United States. When France was in danger of collapsing in 1956, it was the Americans who propped it up, and their reward was to be insulted and swindled on the streets of Paris. I was there. I saw it.

"When earthquakes hit distant cities, it is the United States that hurries in to help. This spring 59 American communities were flattened by tornadoes. Nobody helped. The Marshall Plan and the Truman Policy pumped billions of dollars into discouraged countries. Now newspapers in those countries are writing about the decadent, war mongering Americans.

"You talk about Japanese technology, you get radios. You talk about German technology, you get automobiles. You talk about American technology and you find men on the moon, not once but several times.

"You talk about scandals, and the Americans put theirs right in the store window for everybody to see.

"When the railways of France, Germany and India were breaking down due to age, it was the Americans who rebuilt them. When the Pennsylvania Railroad and the New York Central went broke, nobody loaned them an old caboose.

"I can name you 5000 times when the Americans raced to the help of other people in trouble. Can you name me even one time when someone else raced to the Americans in trouble?

"Our neighbors have faced it all alone, and I'm one Canadian who is tired of hearing them get kicked around. They will come out of this thing with their flag high. And when they do, they are entitled to thumb their nose at the lands that are gloating over their present troubles."

Thank you, Gordon Sinclair, for the compliment. But of course, we won't do that. It isn't our place. This nation was not called to thumb its nose at anybody, not for any reason. We're not looking for a payback, and I hope we are still big enough, strong enough, and yes, Christian enough to forgive those who took our help and offered in return nothing but insults.

Our job isn't just to help people in need. It is to witness. Witness to something that is truly unique about this nation, maybe we’re just remembering now, something that goes back to the spiritual foundations of our beginning. Our job is to give, and to forgive, expecting nothing in return. And perhaps the best reason for us to keep doing that is exactly the reason that Gordon Sinclair pointed out: because no one else is doing it. And because we can afford to do it.

Of him to whom much is given, much is required. And much has been given to this nation. Our abundance- the very thing that makes others sometimes resent us out of jealousy- is the thing that requires us to continue being generous and forgiving toward those who need and ask for our help.

Once again, we may be called, in Gordon Sinclair's words, to "face it all alone." As we pursue international terrorists, our goal should be to make not just the United States but the whole world a safer place. That's a very big job to take on. And we may soon find that the allies who expressed their sympathy and support in pious words of encouragement will quickly draw back when this war on terrorism threatens them with danger or expense. I saw in yesterday’s newspaper that Germany is already getting cold feet. I expect, as in the past, that when this battle becomes too expensive, too risky, too dangerous, we may find that we are the only ones still intent on winning it- not for any credit or profit to ourselves, but for one reason only- because it is the right thing to do.

And so I say, be prepared. Be ready to forgive. Whether we are talking about our role as a nation, or our lives as individuals, the same things happen to us. Sometimes our friends will let us down. Some will desert us. Some may turn and attack our motives. And some will just quietly forget to stand with us. And we will forgive, and go on. It's what we do. It's the way we have always lived. It is a way of life which God has uniquely blessed. Let us never depart from it.